In honor of Father’s Day this Sunday, here are some humorous quotes about Dads.

Ernest Hemingway
To be a successful father, there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.
Bill Cosby
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Jimmy Piersal, on How to Diaper a Baby
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then, fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.

Red Buttons
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Barbara Hales
There is an important reason why Father’s Day comes after Mother’s Day.
As we celebrate one, so shall we celebrate the other.
Father’s Day which was declared a national holiday on the third Sunday of every June, by President Nixon.  Fortunately for Dads everywhere, this declaration preceded his impeachment and resignation, which was not a cause for the impeachment.
It is a chance to express thanks to our Dads for all they do for the family and their unconditional love and affection. I reflect on all the wonderful times that I was fortunate to share with my Dad and how wonderful he was- sweet, kind, sympathetic and always there for consolation, inspiration and to root us on. Of course the hugs are the best.  My heart swells at how wonderful my sweetheart is with our children, the role of Dad he’s meant to play. Lastly, I smile at the thought of my son entering the ranks of fatherhood one day and how fabulous he will be in that role.
So Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful men out there.  Thanks for all that you do and for being you.